『Apricot forest』self liner notes

Some people may hold negative views about artists writing their own liner notes.

They often believe that once an artist releases a piece, it belongs to the listeners, who

should be free to interpret it as they see fit. I find this perspective reasonable.

However, allowing a work to be interpreted freely can lead to a loss of its original intent,

resulting in the piece not being appreciated the way the artist intended.

I think many individuals miss out on a deeper understanding of various works because of

insufficient explanations.

My current opinion is that artists should provide a foundation for their work so that it can be

appreciated as they intended.

In a few months or even years, I may find myself exclaiming, "One shouldn’t bother with

liner notes.” However, for the time being, I want to share my current thoughts.

Of course, I won’t explain everything in detail, leaving some room for imagination.

・・・・・・・・

The core tracks of the album 『Apricot forest』 are the opening piece, 『apricot forest』, and the

eighth track, 『Swimming Flowers』.

The general theme of the album delves into metempsychosis, the anxiety surrounding the

intangible, and the hope that exists beyond it.

The “forest” represents a threshold of rebirth—like a station you temporarily visit at that

moment. It may symbolize the emotions that linger there.

You may interpret it verbatim as "rebirth” and “metempsychosis” but also as a symbol of

reinvention in the real world.

The first track, apricot forest, captures the experience of wandering through and exploring

that “forest.” In contrast, track eight, Swimming Flowers, conveys the journey of leaving that

“forest” and finding your way to an exit bathed in light.

I will refrain from explaining why I chose “apricot” as the motif.

Other songs also portray the “forest” itself, reflecting on the world you inhabited before

arriving in this woodland, as well as your experiences in that previous life and the emotions

tied to these shifts—whether it’s resistance, acceptance, or hope.

・・・・・・・・

The lyrics weave together a variety of motifs and elements drawn from different genres.

The third track, 『water reflection』, was composed in a single sitting while traveling on a

Shinkansen train, returning home from a personal journey.

Watching a TV show about Manet’s painting Un bar aux Folies Bergère (A Bar at the

Folies-Bergère) had a significant impact on the lyrics. The painting once travelled to Japan,

and I made a trip to the art museum to see it for myself. I have a vivid memory of the

complex and heavy shadow that seemed to linger in the eyes of the woman depicted in the

artwork.

The painting gives off a sense that the woman is pondering which version of herself truly

defines her: the one looking back at the viewer or the reflection in the mirror. She seems to

be wrestling with the idea of which image represents her ideal self, and which one is more

grounded in reality. I think this impression had quietly lingered in the back of my mind.

During this personal journey, where I found myself completing the lyrics, I stayed at a hotel

nestled by a lake deep in the mountains. When I opened the windows of my room, I was

greeted by the sight of an indigo lake beyond the trees.

As night settled in, the lake darkened under the moon’s glow, stirring up feelings of anxiety within me. My mind raced, making it impossible to find sleep.

After I finally gave up on sleep and began absently gazing at the lake outside my window,

images of Manet’s painting, the lake before me, and Yasunari Kawabata’s The Lake, which

I was reading at the time, began to intertwine in my mind like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle

coming together. In the dim light of my room, I grabbed my notebook and started jotting

down some lyrics inspired by those thoughts.

It seems that my current approach involves mixing different motifs, breaking them down,

and then piecing them together to form a cohesive single image.

The theme of the fourth track, 『Sunset』, draws inspiration from the 2023 film featuring

Koji Yakusho.

・・・・・・・・

The fifth track, 『Finding Spring Colors』, implies that the album’s overarching theme unfolds

from late winter into early spring. The protagonist is conscious of his destination but opts to

turn a blind eye to it, resisting the arrival of the spring breeze.

I believe the bulk of my time went into the bridge of the track Finding Spring Colors for this

album. It took me quite a while to settle on the idea of incorporating a trumpet.

From the very start, I was keenly aware of the chronological flow of the protagonist’s

journey as they set out for a new world. I slowly embraced the future that awaited them and

discovered a sense of hope along the way. Before I began composing the music, I carefully

decided on the order of the songs and their accompanying themes.

The feelings of hatred expressed in the second track, 『haihai』, begin to ease by the time we

reach 『The puppets dance between the acts』. In this moment, the protagonist finds

themselves wishing for the intermission to come to an end.（“Haihai” means baby crawling.）

In the seventh track, 『pupa fire』, they immerse themselves in a world that is on the

brink of raising its curtain (membrane).

The theme I chose for the album was largely inspired by a personal event I went through in

2024. While I won’t delve into the details, it’s something that everyone will inevitably face at

some point in their lives.

・・・・・・・・

I appreciate you taking the time to read this. I have many regrets about my first album.

For example, while recording, I imagined the sensation of someone softly whispering to me

from above in a forest. This led me to concentrate on keeping a gentle tone and singing

without pushing my voice too hard.

Unfortunately, my awareness of this concept distracted me, resulting in content that didn’t

meet my expectations.

Lately, there’s been a lot of talk about the idea that “to make a song a hit, just keep the intro

short.” But as you can tell, the songs I’ve created don’t necessarily fit that mould.

Personally, I lean towards artists and tracks that establish a rich atmosphere right from the

intro, and I wouldn’t change that for anything.

This album is the result of a lot of trial and error, which means there are some rough

patches. However, I’m eager to incorporate the insights I’ve gained into my next project.

Right now, I’m also hard at work on my second album. I’m committed to putting in the effort

to produce something even better.

kusakagero